Are you tired of all the motivational calendars and posters that urge you to work hard and be a productive human being? Do you want to give up all ambition and live an aimless, carefree existence? Then this calendar is for you! Each month has an uninspiring quote that will give you a little extra demotivation to slack off on that project at work, miss your most important appointments, and avoid spending quality time with your family. You'll also find the dates of many obscure holidays that will reinforce your torpor, like Public Sleeping Day and Ditch New Year's Resolutions Day. The gorgeous photos will demotivate you even more, as you can sit and stare at them for hours, wishing you were somewhere else.
Over the years, we’ve written hundreds of demotivational quotes, each one a small cry for help disguised as humor. However, according to one particularly grumpy customer, only 10 of these quotes were actually funny. So we decided to release all 10 of them in this “Best of” edition. Unfortunately, when we did the math, we realized that this still left us two quotes shy of a full calendar. So we spent untold hours wracking our brains to come up with two new quotes that we’re cautiously optimistic about. We’re sure someone will still be disappointed. That someone might be you.
Disclaimer: By purchasing this calendar, you agree to hold Collier Publishing LLC and its employees harmless should you lose your job, receive divorce papers from your spouse, become estranged from your children, or gain an ungodly amount of weight.
Testimonials:
"This calendar is an extraordinary achievement for such a slothful human being" - National Couch Potato Association (NCPA)
"The inexplicable popularity of this calendar astonishes and shocks us. Anyone who purchases it should be ashamed of themselves." - International Association of Professional Motivational Speakers (IAPMS)
"This abhorrent calendar presents one of the biggest threats to humanity that we have ever seen. It could bring about the end of civilization as we know it" - North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO)
About the Photographer:
Grant Collier is one of the least motivated photographers on the planet. It may appear that he hikes many miles over rugged terrain to capture his images, but the truth is that all of his photos were taken from the side of the road. In recent years, Grant has become passionate about night photography. He has discovered that he can set his camera to take repeated exposures throughout the night, while he sleeps on a mattress in his vehicle. Grant has not gotten up before noon in over 25 years, and he has never held a real job. Please help Grant continue his aimless and unproductive lifestyle by purchasing more of his books, calendars, prints, etc. at: www.collierpublishing.com and www.gcollier.com.
