For centuries, people have reported sightings of an enormous ape that goes by the name Sasquatch, Yeti, the Abominable Snowman, and Bigfoot. No one knew whether this legendary creature actually existed - until now! This earth-shattering new calendar shows 12 completely real, never-before-published photographs of Bigfoot taken in his natural habitat. To capture these images, renowned Bigfoot photographer Grant Collier dressed up as a female Sasquatch to lure Bigfoot into the open. In retrospect, this was probably a bad idea, since Bigfoot attempted to kill Grant several times when he realized he’d been bamboozled. But the images Grant captured will go down as some of the most important ever taken - right up there with images from Roswell proving the existence of aliens and NASA’s fake images of the moon landing.
50% of all profits from this calendar will be donated by the publisher to non-profits working to protect the real Bigfoots on this planet ... gorillas, orangutans, chimpanzees, and more.
Some of the captivating true stories printed beneath the monthly photos are provided below:
June: On a small secluded island in the South Pacific, Bigfoots have lived almost entirely undisturbed for millions of years. They have remained so isolated from other Bigfoot populations that they have evolved to smaller and smaller sizes. These adorable creatures are known as Little Bigfoots. However, today a younger, more socially-conscious generation of Little Bigfoots finds the term “Little” to be offensive. They’ve pointed out that, compared to most life on planet Earth including insects, bacteria, and amoebas, they are still quite large. They’ve also complained that the term is oxymoronic, with “Little” and “Big” effectively canceling each other out. They now insist on being called “Foots.”
September: Renowned Bigfoot photographer Grant Collier knew that a remote cave in Utah would be the ideal spot for Bigfoot to live. So after hiking 50 miles, Grant was dismayed when he found the cave empty. He decided to make the best of the situation by taking pictures of this beautiful scene at night. But at 1 am, Bigfoot returned to his lair and was not pleased to find a human there. It was only through great fortune that Grant survived the subsequent attack. He had to crawl all 50 miles back to his car with a broken leg, three broken ribs, and a collapsed lung. Despite being presented with indisputable photographic evidence of this encounter, the news media refused to report on it. As a result, this epic story of survival has remained untold until now.
October: Gulfoss Falls in Iceland is a sacred spot for Bigfoot. According to Bigfoot legend, the Great Bigfoot in the Sky became angry because of Bigfoot’s many sins. So He stomped on the land, creating this gorge. But when He saw the destruction He had wreaked, the Great Bigfoot became sad and began crying, thus creating this waterfall. But when He saw the beautiful rushing water, the Great Bigfoot again became happy, and all was well with the world. We hope you weren’t expecting something more profound. He is Bigfoot, not Bigbrain.